The Meal!

  • NB: All characters, critters, creatures and oddities do exist in real world! Oh, and love you lots Lucia!!! Hope you don’t mind being in my story. This story tells of how a wonderful dinner turned into a war, I hear of this happening a lot.

    THE MEAL!

    It all started at a table…
    As all good arguments do
    In the wonderful Kingdom of Pigglylot
    The table was set for more than two!
    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot sat at the head
    And there were guests from every land

    From Fort Goat,
    There was Prince Epic possibly a moose,
    The most epic moose out of all the mooses…
    Hes not even a moose, HES A GOAT!

    From the Kingdom of bedroom
    Was a curled up cat
    Princess Nom Nom, booksitting, bagsleeping, fattycat swishytail the first!

    From MattyLand hailed waist coat bear
    A bear whose life mission was to inform the world
    That he indeed wore a waist coat…
    For if he didn’t he would just be bear.

    From the islands of no where
    Was of course a French sheep
    A scientist on a single mission,
    His life’s work, the same for all French sheep
    Was to create a Super DARN laser to cut cheese from the moon,
    For a French sheep likes for nothing more…
    Than to devour some cheese with its red wine chilled.

    And then there were… THEM, the most rough of the bunch
    Dr Captain Pirate Lucia, from the Pirate University for Zebras,
    And a few of her crew… in fact there was 2!
    Zebras of course, complete with stripes, eye patches and a tails to.

    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot, in tradition with Pigglylot,
    Did not cheat his guests out of an assortment of food
    For every guest a wide assortment was bestowed
    From fresh Hay to red wine, carrots to corn.
    There was even for the sleeping cat…
    A bowl of milk,
    Heated to perfection, well just a little bit warm

    And all was going so well,
    Perfect in fact, nothing was wrong
    The conversation was grand
    The food was divine,
    And there was even music from a harp!
    Played by a Rhino!

    However, as what often happens…
    When theres a meal …
    Consiting of critters…
    Who are all strange and surreal

    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot said something…
    That bought a gasp
    Something which went down awful with a bunch…
    It was nothing big, at least not to a pig…
    And even repeating it…
    Makes me feel sick

    So your a pirate?
    You look more like a horse…
    Those stripes don’t belong on you pirate crew at all!

    The table went silent, QUIET!! and odd…
    The quests just looked quietly in shock.

    THEN THERE WAS A BANG!

    A hoof came down,

    “Pirates should not have stripes??
    Thats against the laws of nature you know!!”

    “No”
    said Lord Pig Pig-a-lot,
    As he did a small cough
    PIRATES SHOULD NOT HAVE STRIPES
    They should be in all sorts of odd clothes

    HOW DARE YOU!!!!
    Explained, Dr Captain Pirate Lucia
    From the Pirate University, specifically for Zebras,

    The other guests sat, complete in silence,
    Shocked at the ongoings…
    Of their once peaceful alliance…
    That is of course apart from the cat
    Her Royal Highness slept, and only twitched her ears.

    A pirate zebra chimed in

    “I am no horse!
    In fact these stripes, are a symbol of pride
    All pirates should have stripes!
    Its only natural
    For a pirate without stripes…
    Is……
    Like a Ninja without a sword
    ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!”

    The anger in the room was beginning to erupt
    Lord Pig Pig-a-lots ears were nearly steaming out the sides
    And as the argument went on,
    The others looked worried,
    Then in the heat, of all going on,
    Prince Epic, who just may possibly be a moose…
    Quickly slipped out, Taking most the hay in his mouth.
    followed by the French sheep, who carried all the cheese away.
    Waist coat bear, brushing down his coat,
    left like a gentleman… slowly tiptoed out.
    Leaving just the wonderful king of Pigglylot
    The rough pirate bunch, and the cat who rested soundly.

    Then it happened, he shouted something,
    Words that would start…
    A war out of nothing.
    “YOU!!!”
    Said Lord Pig Pig-a-lot, in voice never heard
    One so loud, it shook the room.
    “Leave my kingdom, never come back!

    Dr Captain Pirate Lucia,
    And her Zebra crew…
    Stood up shouting YARGGHHhhhh
    As pirates do.
    Then turning there back
    To Lord Pig Pig-a-lot of Pigglylot
    Said words… that everyone thought
    Would never ever be heard

    “We will never…
    Trade with you,
    For we own the seas
    Pigglylot will go hungry
    You will get no more cheese, from the islands no where
    No more fresh fruit, from MattyLands great kitchen
    There will be no more hay from fort goat again!!!!
    Good bye Lord Pig Pig-a-lot…
    I hope we never meet again!”

    Then when they had gone,
    Storming out in a noise,
    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot felt bad
    But it was to late of course…
    And as he left, late that night…
    To his bed to sleep
    In a grump and a sigh

    There was a certain cat
    Who finally woke up,
    Her royal Highness stretched,
    And let out a mrroowwww

    “Hey everyones gone,

    She said rather confused,

    No point in leaving all this fine food.

    And as she ate,
    That concluded the day…
    Thats story of why
    Theres a war to this day
    Between the wonderful kingdom of Pigglylot
    Ruled by Lord Pig Pig-a-lot
    And the rough Pirate Zebras…
    Who just love their stripes way to much.


    March 16th, 2011 | Matty Angel | No Comments |

About The Author

Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!

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