The Morning Routine
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HISTORICAL DOCUMENT
Commissioned Inquiry into Missing Treasury Funds
by the ZorroBear Intelligence Agency
(Where theres crime theres ZorroBear)NB: The Morning Routine of Her Royal Highness the leader of the Kingdom of Bedroom
Then Morning Routine
The day Always begins the same
Whether sunny, cloudy or stormy rain
This is Her Highness the Princess Kitty Cat’s day
Thats Princess Nom Nom, Booksitting, Bagsleeping, Fattycat, Swishy Tail the firstShe usually stands up with a stretch and then follows it
With a MRrrroooowwwww or two.
This is followed by a run around the lands
After all being healthy is a must and exercise is grand.She will run from the Kingdom of Bedroom, all the way to MattyLand,
She will then run back and make sure shes all stretched!
Of course running over anything in her way,
She is a Princess and the world must wait for her.
The only problem is this includes the tummy’s of any citizens
Including Matty who is usually still sleeping.If Matty, one of the ruling monarchs of MattyLand has still not awoken for the morning
Then desperate measures are usually called upon,
This usually includes standing on her tummy,
Walking around in a circle
Kneeding on the blanket closes to her head,
And of course poking her face with a very wet nose.And just in case you are unaware,
Wet nose poking and head rubbing…
Is an honor to Recieve from a Princess Kitty,
Very few do.If the great ruling Monarch of MattyLand awakes,
The Princess and leader of the Kingdom of Bedroom then proceeds with royal greetings
MMrrroooowwwwww is usually heard often,
This is sometimes followed by MEEERRRROOOWWWWW
And sometimes MMmmmeeeoooowwwwww
Although they may seem all the same to some,
These are in fact very different greetings,
So different that replying can be tricky.After Royal Greetings have been spoken,
Her Royal Highness usually stands in the Royal Doorway
That is the great gate to the great Kingdom of Bedroom of course,
Just outside the great gate is known as the Royal Treasury,
Both great Kingdoms, the Kingdom of Bedroom and MattyLand share this treasury,
So before anything can be taken from the great treasury both leaders need to be present.What usually follows is a very tiring act, but one that must be done.
Matty of MattyLand usually stumbles very tiredly and rubs her eyes to the great gate,
Passing then into the Royal Treasury,
Depending on the time of day the lights are then turned on.At this very moment an argument usually follows,
There is many exchanges of MRrroowwwws
and Meeeoowwwsss
The Ruling Monarch of MattyLand usually replies
Don’t MRRrrrroooowwww at me I will Mrrooowww at you,
and usually something about how she is a fattycat gets said.However after much debate over treasury allocations,
A royal tribute from the treasury is finally offered to Her Highness
It gets placed into the purple alter,
Where it is then collected by Her Highness at a usually fast pace.
Another tribute of royal water is also offered, however not always touched…
This is because Royalty prefers drinking right from dripping taps.After the treasury allocations are gathered,
Her Highness then proceeds to pound on the great portal,
This is the portal to the vast lands surrounding MattyLand,
Once the portal is opened, usually by aid of Matty flicking a switch.It is unknown where she goes from there,
However it is believed that she frequently visits Lord Pig Pig-a-lot from Pigglylot
To consult on the threat of Pirate Zebras… and maybe plotting war.
However we can’t just go off accusations… that would be rude…It should also be noted!
That this routine can begin from anywhere between 2am and 10am,
and that it is structure to change based on environmental factors.Also Meeeooowwwww
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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