Autism and Me – Part 4
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So… finally Part 4! I am sorry its taken me so long to write this but I have just been so busy! But its been a happy busy for the most part! Especially the time I have been spending with my friends!
First Before we start Part 4 I would just like to remind everyone, I am no Doctor… that the only knowledge and experience I have is personal, from being an Autistc Adult, and most of what I have learned has been with help from others who have helped me to work myself out… and who have put up with me over the years.
And for those just finding part 4, this is part 4 in a series about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Me, well more specifically how it affects me. However please remember that everyone with ASD is different.
If you missed any of the previous parts, you can catch up by clicking on my Autism and Me =) Category –
– Autism and Me part 4 –
So continuing on from the sensory system is a topic that I promised to write about in part 3, that is the topic of Overloads. Another name they are
known by is Meltdowns.Before we can really get into the topic of overloads though, you all need to do me a big favour… that’s accepting that what you know about them, might be wrong… and also for those of you who don’t experience meltdowns… accepting that you will never understand them completely.
I know that this request is a very difficult one, especially for those of you who are parents and reading this. I know as a parent you like to believe you can know and understand everything about your children.. However… with this topic… accepting that you can’t completely understand and that what you know might be wrong… is the best way to keep yourself open to new ideas and open to learning.
So! Now that we’ve established that, I guess many of you are wondering just what exactly an overload is, well before we can do that we have to establish what an Overload is not.
For starters an overload is not an anxiety attack… however an overload my trigger an anxiety attack or an anxiety attack maybe part of an overload or trigger one. A tantrum is not an Overload, however tantrum like behaviour can result from an Overload. Most importantly however… and this one is most often forgotten when looking up about Overloads of meltdowns… not all overloads are Sensory Overloads. This is important because a Sensory Overload is treated different from other Overloads.
Now if someone was to ask me to sum up just what exactly an Overload or a Meltdown is in one sentence, I think my answer would be… An Overload is a reaction to a situation in which the brain has trouble to sort, process, understand or express various kinds of information.
There are three types of Overloads that I have identified in myself, before I tell you these though just remember that some of these are my own made up terms and labels… I created them to help me understand myself, so I am sorry if they don’t make sense to you!
Right! So as I was saying, there are three kinds of Overloads that I experience. The first is the very well known and very much talked about Sensory Overload, the second is the Informational Overload, the third is the Predictability Overload….
So the first Overload I want to talk about… is the Sensory Overload. This kind of Overload is specifically related to the Sensory System. The same Sensory System I have written about previously! A sensory overload happens when one or more of the five senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell) becomes overloaded with information.
A good example of this for me, would be loud construction noises! Recently the place next door was undergoing construction. The constant banging of hammers and use of power tools made it very difficult for my brain to process and think, as my ears were being overstimulated. Another example is clothing, certain materials, for me its mostly rough materials… overload the sense of touch and create irritability.
The second Overload that I will talk about… is the Informational Overload. Now this Overload is the Overload I have the most… and I hope that I explain it ok… because this is a difficult one to try and tell people!
So… An Informational Overload is related to the processing and expressing of information… well… I guess its related to the trouble of processing and expressing information. The cause of an Informational Overload is usually a kind of frustration… for me its usually related to my troubles with things like Sequencing and organising thoughts or Emotions… or caused by the problems I have with figurative sentences and understanding the meanings behind them…
The best way that I could describe it for me came when looking at a flow chart… That is that its like my brain has gone into a loop… and doesn’t seem to know how to break that loop… and eventually this infinite loop breaks down… which then results in the Overload.
Examples of this for me would be “Why won’t my words come out!†or “Why can’t I open this draw, I know that I know how to open it†or… like the one I heard while ago “SCIENCE IS GOLDEN†Well no its not, Science is a subject… its not gold… or golden… though the one that got me for a long time was “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse†It took me a long time to work this one out and I use to get very overwhelmed by it… but someone explained to me not long ago that its just someone over-estimating their hunger… so I made my peace with that one now!
The Third Overload is one that I have actually named myself… its called the Predictability Overload and its related to that term I coined and spoke of in the previous parts of this series… Predictability Comfort. This kind of Overload happens for me when what I am expecting to happen… doesn’t happen, or what I am seeing, is different from what I was expecting.
Examples of this are a bit difficult for me to explain… so instead I will try and describe how this kind of Overload happens…
In my head I often play out scenarios… Like Conversations or Seeing something for the first time or something I have seen a lot… Its kind of like watching a video tape of something that is going to happen, before it happens. But its also accepting that the video tape is not 100% accurate. I think perhaps this is why people with Autism respond well to Visual Learning… its this Predictability Comfort complex.
For me… I do not usually engage in a conversation unless I have some idea of how the conversation will go. The Overload happens in this instance, when things don’t play out as safely as they did in my head… Which then changes the responses that I had chosen well in advance… causing my brain to panic and make things seem like they are going to fast.
The other way this Overload happens… as I just told you before. Is when something I am about to see for the first time, or something I have seen many times before… is not what I am expecting to see. Like presents! Most people in the world LOVE presents, but me… I struggle with surprises. If someone tells me they are going to give me a present… I get a bit anxious. I try to play the scenario out in my head… however without knowing what the present is I can’t judge how to respond. Its also something new invading my environment and this can cause the Overload… A variable in my environment causing my brain to change the responses I had planned in advance.
I really hope that makes a bit of sense. I do have to say though, as an adult I have much less Overloads than I use to when younger… I’m not fully sure why this is but perhaps its due to overtime having learned ways to cope with those Overloads. However I do still have them often and as I have mentioned in the earlier parts, they are one of the things I wish I could cure. That’s a view that has caused a lot of trouble for me.
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This part of the Autism and Me series took so long, I am very anxious about it… Overloads/Meltdowns are such a tough topic to write about. While writing this I was constantly afraid of writing something wrong. Remember to let me know if you want part 5 by commenting below. Also thank you to everyone who has commented so far. I really appreciate it. I just hope its helpful in some way as the previous parts.
In part 5 I am going to talk about what happens during the various overloads, how I react to them differently overload and what helps me during them… Well… If there is time and space that is. If not then I will carry that over into Part 6.
Overloads really are such a big topic, especially since not all overloads are the same.
~ Written with love and care
Click here to read Part 5!Â
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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14 Responses and Counting...
Another wonderful explanation Matty. It helps me understand just what constitutes an overload or meltdown. It would be helpful for me to know the best way I could help you (or another individual with autism) deal with the overload once it has already happened. Thank you again – it has been very informative reading for me.
Great job, Matty. I know it took a lot of time and effort to write, but I appreciate so much you making the effort! It’s important information even keeping in mind that different people experience autism differently. Any information is better than none! Yes, I would very much like to see Part 5, and Part 6, too! 🙂 Hugs
Thank you Matty, I found this so interesting.
Another great posting Matty 🙂 I really appreciate these explanations, they help me to understand things I didn’t know existed. Thank you for sharing and for trying so hard to write these posts for us, I am looking forward to reading Part 5 and Part 6. Hugs Vanessa 🙂
Hi Matty
This was a fascinating post to read. It also gave me something to think about with regard to my son. He is pretty chilled these days and we take life easy, therefore he doesn’t really get overloaded. Keep writing. 🙂
Fantastic article Matty. I’ve learned so much from these articles and I hope to be a better person because of them. I’m really looking forward to part 5 and thanks again for opening our eyes!
Hi Matty!
Thanks for writing part 4. You write so beautifully and explain things so well! I always look forward to reading the things you write, and it has definitely helped me to understand how autism is for you.
Please write part 5, and then part 6 and part 7 and part 8!
Have you ever considered taking your work to a book publisher? It is so good and so very informative, and I think they would be very interested into turning this into a book. It could help so many people!
Have a great day!
Thank you for all the time and thought you put into this. I really appreciate it and I hope you know that by helping more parents like me to understand you’re helping make the world better for our kids…and they benefit from your wisdom and insight too. Thank you!
Another great informative read in the series. Well done Matty 🙂
Hey Hun.. thanks for another insight into your world and that of many others…
Keep writing as we do all appreciate it and I hope you enjoy writing.
Take care and enjoy some more “1st”.. getting out there with your friends.
� Melinda
Wow Matty, thank you so much for writing this. You give me new insights on how my son is very likely experiencing the world, and open my mind to new understandings, which is so immensely valuable and helpful. Please do write a Part 5, I am particularly interested in hearing about what helps you to cope with overloads.
This is yet another great entry in the Great Saga. The transition to life as an Autistic Adult, especially when it comes to coping with Overloads, is a topic that dearly deserves the sort of attention you’re giving it. Definitely looking forward to part 5!
Matty! , You are the most beautiful and amazing girl I have ever met. There has never been a single person that you were NOT able to put a huge smile on their face after 5 seconds! You are my friend and by far the SMARTEST person I have ever met! I hope you dont mind but I am going to link this site to all my friends on fb that struggle with autism . They really NEED to read this. There are just no words for how amazing you are. The world with be such a better and happier place with more people like you. <3
Just to let you know, the saying is not ‘science is golden’, the saying is actually ‘silence is golden’. This might help you understand it more 🙂