Sequencing – I hate help with what I know (Poem)

  • NB: This is a poem about my sequencing problems… mostly the problems I have with basic every day things…. things I know I can do… should be able to do… but things that for some unknown reason… I can’t do.

    I have written about these in my Autism and Me posts (Which I must go back and finish!) but basically, my mind can’t prioritize and put things in the right order. Meaning when I go to them, everything’s jumbled.  

    Before you read this though… I want to thank everyone who helps and supports me through issues like these. I know its not always easy… but… knowing I am not alone really helps me get through everything.

    Sequencing – I hate help with what I know

    I don’t understand
    I don’t know what’s wrong
    I know I can do this
    I know exactly how,

    I see it my head
    I have all the pieces…
    I know all steps
    I know they’re correct,

    I Should be able to do it
    I just can’t make any sense of it
    I feel so broken
    I feel frustrated and bleak

    I am not stupid though,
    I am just a bit different
    I have brain that struggles
    I just can’t process and sequence

    I don’t understand it yet…
    I don’t think I ever will…
    I feel my eyes fill with tears,
    I have to give up for now.

    I will need help today,
    I just can’t work through the jumble,
    I really don’t want it though
    I hate help with what I know.

    I am glad it’s there though…
    I am lucky to have help when I need it,
    I can breathe I’m not alone… and…
    I can move on with my day after.


    September 16th, 2013 | Matty Angel | 3 Comments |

About The Author

Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!

3 Responses and Counting...

  • Pip 09.16.2013

    Never get stuck on the things you can’t do
    Instead celebrate all the things that you can do :-):-):-)

  • Vanessa

    Hi there Matty 🙂

    Your insightful poem bought tears to my eyes. How frustrating your life must be at times, especially when you know and understand what is going on. Thank you so much for sharing your triumphs with us, I hope your words are making us all better people 🙂

    Hug, love and brilliant rainbows from Vanessa

  • Ian

    Very nice, Miss Matty. 🙂

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