The Sixth Constant (Childrens Story!!!)
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NB: Written with my friend Helen 🙂 I hope you all enjoy it very much, those are all her real animals… apart from waist coat bear… he is my bear.
The Sixth Constant – By Matty Angel
The sky is up and the ground is down… the sun rises and sets to the moon above, time keeps passing, continuing on. These are the constants, the things that just are… but there is one more thing that just is… something that is always guaranteed. Its not what you expect, no… but it kind of makes sense… well… if you think about it logically. Then again… that depends on whose logic you use.
ANYWAY!
You are probably wondering what this is, this constant, this guarantee, this truth of all truths. Well… I will tell you. When asking a goat our for tea, it will always end in disaster.
This revelation… no… realization, was born about a day like any other, one where the constants previously mentioned, were very much in effect as one would expect. However this day was about to change when one interesting Bear… who had a waist coat quite red… Met one goat whose name was Kunik and asked him to tea, in a very polite way.
This goat agreed, excitedly… ecstatically and set off home, to get rather ready as tea demands a certain readiness that is just beyond words to explain. However for one who knows Goats, knows that this is very dangerous… for letting a goat have time to prepare, would lead to disastrous consequences.
Kunik upon his way, prancing and twirling as goats often do, first came by a rather interesting bunny. Her name was Jill… she was kind of fluffy. Jill being a bunny, was minding her own Business… however there would be an end to that… as Goats have a way of interrupting.
“Bunny
LONG EAR THING
BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY!â€Said the goat Kunik, rather hastily.
You see, for a Goat… a conversation just happens… they don’t need to know who they talking too, nor do they need to know anyone else’s business. They solely focussed upon themselves… which can cause quite a dilemma… Of course don’t ask a llama… for they would tell you its a Dillama… but thats a story for another day.
The bunny named Jill… who was kind of fluffy, lifted her head and said…
“Hiâ€
Rather simply. You see a goat conversation often consists of two things…
1) A goat speaking muchly…
2) A single word reply from the interrupted.Kunik the goat, proceeded to say, about how the bunny should come for tea up the way. The bunny Jill being polite, readily agreed, with just a nod… I wonder if you see the problem that’s beginning to appear?
From here, Kunik the goat, proving the constant that asking a goat out for tea can only end unwell, began to continue his way to get ready but not before bumping into a cow named Bailey.
“COW COW COW
COW COW
COW COW COW!
COW!!!Said Kunik to the cow named Bailey, rather hastily… but I think you know that’s expected by now.
“Hellllloooooooâ€
Said Bailey the Cow, just staring and blinking… as he chewed on his cud… which I must say… he was rather good at.
Kunik proceeded to tell the Cow named Bailey, about how they should come for tea at the Bears place. Kunik didn’t stop to breathe, his words rushed out… with no stop… no real start… and then he was off again before the Cow could say no.
So Bailey began to make her way, of course slowly … cause … well… You know, its just a cows way. But by the time he had taken his very first step…. Kunik the goat had run into a Chicken named Henrietta the Hen.
“CHICKEN!
HEN HEN HEN
CHICKEN
HEN
CHICKEN
FEATHER THING!â€Said Kunik, his eyes so wide, and his tongue flapping about, which of course was rather disgusting to the Hen, who to the rather clucky world… was quite the royalty you know. But she had no time, no time to say stop… no time to correct this tea invited goat. For before she could say a single little word… she had somehow agreed to go to Tea at the waist coat wearing bears house… and then Kunik was gone… My gosh this disaster was was bad… Can you see how this constant is just so obvious… its mad?
So the Hen named Henrietta, began her journey too… A royal Chicken as she… cannot turn down tea. It breaks a law of some kind… but don’t ask a lawyer… they will probably deny it….
So back to Kunik we go now… as he had moved quite far since we took a look at the Chickens agreement from what seemed an eon ago. He was moving about, excitedly… hastily… some might even say… rather crazily. But not before bumping into a Farm Cat Dillon
FLUFFY
BIG TAIL THING
CAT CAT… ITS CAT RIGHT!
CAT CAT CAT!Said Kunik, without one sign of halt… apart from a stare… that let Cat Dillon interrupt.
“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meowâ€
Because… Well… When it comes to a hello, A cat seems to be stuck somewhere else you know. But that was all that could be said by Cat Dillon… which is rather incredible… because… Well… Cats like Cat Dillon are insistent. Kunik invited Cat Dillon for tea… which made Cats Dillon’s ears twitch… Which Kunik took as an agree. Then off Kunik was, faster than any words… As Cat Dillon not being rude, began his journey… like the many others before him.
So you are probably wondering… what happens now. This Bunny, This Cow, This Chicken… and well Cat Dillon as well… They are all making their way up to The Waist Coat Bears House… all expecting Tea… from a bear expecting none. Well It gets worse, its the only way it can go. When I told you asking a goat out for tea as a disastrous constant… there was no exaggerating at all.
For Kunik ran into… the biggest Dog there ever was, if not by size… by excitement as well. Her name was Sheila, A Turkish Kangal Guardian Dog and together with Kunik… The most incredible, most amazing, most splendiferous conversation that there ever was… would take place… and this is the only record… so I hope you can keep up.
Kunik: DOG!
Sheila: GOAT!
Kunik: DOG!!
Sheila: GOAT!!
Kunik: DOG!!!
Sheila: GOAT!!!
Kunik: DOG!!!!
Sheila: GOAT!!!!And some how through this exchange, Sheila began to make her way as well… to acquire Tea… from the Waist Coat Bears abode.
So now we have a Bunny, a Cow and a Hen… Cat Dillon and Dog Sheila… all on their way to Tea. You must be wondering where this ends? Well here is the twist, the thing that makes you grind teeth. For Kunik the Goat… would never get there to find out… for as he reached his home… Which I must say… was a fort. He saw some flowers, that were next door… and went over there to munch… destroying gardens so beautiful. Forgetting his invitation, his plans and his day… for a goats stomach… wipes memories away.
So this is the story, about this truth of all truths. This constant as exact as the sun the rises and sets. That if you ask a Goat our for Tea, it will only end in disaster. You have been warned.
Good Luck knowledgeable adventurer.
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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Another great story, Matty! Such cute characters! 🙂 <3
Oh my. What a story! You are a wonder of the world, Matty 🙂 <3