Just thoughts…
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NB: Please don’t give up on me.
Just thoughts…
Sleep…
I wish for sleep
It seems to be hard to find these days
When I try I find tears,
I need there to be no more tears.I need my busy mind to go too,
And the stress mixed with fear…
Well..
I need that to just leave.Things feel dark these days…
Its not really loneliness though…
It seems to be more of…
Hmm… emptiness.I think that’s it.
I think I feel empty
Maybe even hurt.
Perhaps that’s what has taken my sleep.I keep saying I am healing from what happened
For some reason, it hurt more than I had been hurt before.
Is that strange? People have left my life so many times?
I just can’t seem to work out why this time feels so different.I keep saying I am strong and things are okay
But… here I am
Trying to find sleep…
With a bust mind, with stress mixed with fear…
And tears
So many tears.I guess I am writing this so everyone can know I am sorry.
I have been a very bad friend to so many people as of late.
My own problems are eating my mind up… and…
Well… I feel I am failing many people.I promise you all…. When I find sleep
And my head is free from all that’s inside
And the bad feelings leave me….
When there is no more tears
And the emptiness is gone
That I will make it up to you allSo please… please be patient
Love Matty
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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Hugs, thinking of you.
I hope you find sleep. I hope it renews and invigorates you. I am thinking of you this morning and hoping your eyes are closed and you wake happy. 🙂
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If you want why don’t you try praying to my God for sleep. It couldn’t hurt. Pray to Jehovah for sleep and peaceful feelings. He may give you peace, doesn’t hurt to ask. 😉 HUGS!
Sending love and hugs your way.
I am thinking of you often. I hope God grants your mind the healing peace it requires.
You are not failing me, I just worry about you, because I care for you.
Please take care of yourself.
Love,
Angela
Hugs.
Oh sweet Matty, you are not failing anyone hun. We all need time to grieve when things change in our ives and hurt us. You need time to cry and it’s ok. I am sending you many hugs and much love. Matty I hope you are seeing a counsellor so that you can talk this through and help you heal. Take care my friend Vanessa
please don’t worry that you’re failing anyone. you’re going through a very rough patch in your life and that’s not your fault. we all understand. we’re not angry or upset with you; we’re just worried. when you feel better I will still be here, and I’ll still be your friend.
Matty, hey it’s Betaburn from LBM. I echo the others before me to say that you aren’t and can’t fail us. You continue to be you in the best possible way, and that is a great success for all of us! It’s what you’re meant to do and you do it beautifully. Remember we’re always here for you as you are for us. Take care and good luck with everything. Blessings to you!