A challenge to the video game world – Change your attitude.
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A challenge to the video game world – Change your attitude.Â
I get asked often by a lot of people, why is it I stopped playing games. So many of you who have interacted with me over the years, you will know that I use to be what can only be described as a hardcore computer/video gamer! I loved everything from RPGs to Side Scrollers, Arcade Games… and especially RTS strategy games.
So why did I stop? What could make someone who loves games, the industry and those involved in all aspects of it… stop caring? Well… the others gamers did. As games became more social and more pressure was put on interacting with others… I began to realize that the gaming world doesn’t want me involved, near… or touching it. Other people who I use to know who played games… they have said the same thing. They are unwanted. Its hard to be persecuted…
Today I was reminded of that, its been a while since I’ve played any games and my favourite store Mighty-Ape was having a games sale. I always look at them, even if I have no intention to buy… I guess something inside me still begs for a game. There is just something about them that makes me crave them, something exciting about forgetting what’s around you and being someone and somewhere else.
I was looking at this sale and I saw something I liked, I was excited and put it in the online cart. Before I went to check out though, I thought I better take a close examination of the comments… Sometimes there is some great feedback from others saying what games are a good buy and what they have enjoyed. But there it was, the reminder…
The reminder I saw was a comment, a comment in response to something someone else had said. In that comment they accused the other person of being “Down Syndrome” as if it was a negative, hateful and disgusting thing to be. I cried… it reminded me why I should not play games, talk about them… or be anywhere near them. If I buy games, I enter a world where those with disabilities and health issues are persecuted. Especially those who have learning and developmental disabilities like myself. Why would I pay money to be part of that?
I have yet to get my head around the thinking, where people think its okay to act, be and present themselves in this way. It takes just a few hours of interacting with others online in video games to see words like “Retard, Down Syndrome, Autistic, Special Needs, Handicapped” and sadly words like these are all used in a negative way… a hateful way. A way to hurt someone else.
Why is that me having disabilities, being special needs, makes me so hated? Why am I put down for being different? Why am I made out to be unwanted and unwelcome? Is it because I don’t always understand everything right away? That it can take a bit for me to keep up? Or is a real hatred, something deep inside that makes people wish I was never born? I wish I knew.
What is sad though, is it can get worse than just general banter. I will never forget the last game I played properly for a while, I was teamed up with someone I didn’t know and I was having fun, I made a mistake and we died. The person then began to call me retarded and asked if I was “special or something” – I calmly replied I was, that sometimes I can’t keep up with what’s going on but that its okay, I still have fun. He then proceeded for the next few minutes while I cried, to say hateful words to me with voice chat. Pretending to have speech impairment.
Before that I was playing a game called Everquest 2, owned by Sony Oneline Entertainment. And this one is probably that one they kind of killed any hope I had.
It was my first time returning to that game in 3-ish years. I was having fun and was enjoying my time. However within a month another player had decided to target me. Every time I tried to communicate with the other players in the server chat, I was asked and told things such as, I don’t contribute to society, that I am worthless, that I should die… This was after the player found out I was disabled and in a supported living situation.
What made this situation so bad for me, was that other players allowed and even encouraged this behaviour. It had somehow become normal and accepted. I reported and communicated with the developers of the game. They did nothing, all they did was push me away and tell me I was wasting their time. That player still plays there today.
I’m not sure how the game “world” became this way, if it was popular culture… or something else… well its to hard to lay blame now. But I do want to issue a challenge. To the game developers, to the players, to the communities that surround and support them both. That you make a stand when disabilities and other health related issues are used in a negative hateful hurtful way. That you say that’s not cool, that’s not okay… that when you are playing these games and you accidentally say those words, that you say sorry… and put an effort to not say them that again.
Though most of all, my biggest message goes to the Game Developers. When someone reports this kind of thing, especially repeatedly. You actually make a stand against it. That you tell your players from the start that this is not okay. That all people from your average teenager to your most elderly person… No matter if they are LGBT, Mentally or Physically impaired or have learning disabilities… are welcome.
I know I am probably asking to much really, but I thought writing something today would be better than crying and asking why. And just so you know, I abandoned my decision to buy the game I was going to today. However I did contact MightyApe on twitter and they removed the comment… but they also said this, which basically sums up everything.
Click this to go favourite and retweet this tweet.
Thank you for listening and giving me your time today
Love Matty Angel – I’m an Autistic and Special Needs Girl, but I am  proud of what I’ve achieved.
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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8 Responses and Counting...
Angel, I know that much has happened with not only you but the gaming community in a whole. It has become a diffacult world to Play with. Hang in there! Lots of Respect for your fighting through this and also I am happy to see you back again.
With Highest Reguards…Sly
Although I am not a video gamer, I do not like trollish behavior from others that do not understand what its like to have any disabilities of any kind. People think they can hide behind their computers and monitors and spew hateful words and not suffer any consequences of their bad behavior.
I am happy for all the positive strides you are making, Matty 🙂
I was using Mighty Ape just to test Twitterfall and your’s and MA’s tweets caught my eye. I read your full post and totally agree. I personally love online gaming, but the main reason I tend to stay away from it is that unless you are extremely lucky you will always wind up having to deal with these small people who think that they can make themselves bigger by putting down someone else for whatever reason they can find.
It’s people like you who start the snowballs that can change the world for the better.
I’m so proud of you for taking your negative experience and using it to try to educate! You continue to amaze me. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to write this out, and to post it for people to see. I hope you don’t mind me linking to it on Facebook! Hugs 🙂
Thank you for writing this Matty. I don’t know anything about gaming and this really helps me to educate my children about what can go wrong.
Hugs Matty and congrats on another thought provoking post 🙂 It’s sad that there are people out there so small and afraid that they have to attack anyone or anything. Matty your decision today to turn those attacks into something positive like this post shout loud and clear that the problem does not exist with you and your disabilities but with them. Keep on being you 🙂 hugs Vanessa
As a mum of a 19yr old on the spectrum who loves his online games I can totally understand.
I think people should always consider who might be behind the screen.
I have depression and anxiety and for a long while using online chat, groups and games were my main way of interacting in a way I found non-threatening.
Just remember, Matty, that you are special and I admire very much your challenging spirit.
hugs Sarah (friend of Vanessa’s) 🙂
Woop woop 🙂 Way to go Matty.
Am so proud of you for speaking out not just for you but also being a voice for so many who have had the same experience.