Bad Memories
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NB: 🙁 I am hiding this post from main page, but still posting. 🙁 hope it makes no one sad.
Bad memories
Every time I shut my eyes
I relive those days I long left behind
Those days of loneliness, of pain and tears
Where wanting to live was a rare event…Days where my body was not my own
Where it was hurt over and over,
Days where my mind was trapped and caged
Where I pondered death again and again.
Days where  I begged for someone to listen
Only to find myself abandoned…I say each morning those days are gone,
That I am safe now, not alone
I convince myself that I have a home…
But when I shut my eyes those thoughts are gone,
Replaying on a loop never forgotten.
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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4 Responses and Counting...
Oh Matty, I am so sad for you that you have those bad memories. I hope you really do feel that you have a home now and that you know that you have lots of new and wonderful friends that will be there for you when you need them. You have a sleep soon, and when you close your eyes tonight think of all the good things and people that have come along lately. Sweet dreams. XXX
thankyou for sharing this Matty.
thankyou for giving a voice to something that
so many people around the world have suffered…
deep depression. there are many people that feel depression and feel abandonded.
and with you sharing this … others will see that they are not alone
that other people have gone thru what they are going thru
and they have found a way up from the darkness of depression
and are walking in the sunshine again. xxxx
Matty never give up the fight to put sad memories in a place that allows you to celebrate the good things in life also….you have a gift of putting into words your e*periences of life that you have delt with, and even though at times you may feel alone…..i don’t think that many people who has ever known you, would not concider you a part of their lives?
Many people may look at this website….and many may not make a comment….but i think it would *not* be many (if any)… that would not be glad to know you and your words!!
🙂
I want to leave you some words- to acknowledge your wonderful courage to print your thoughts and Poetry. I agree with other comments that say depression and dark days exist for so many of us, to turn that into creativity is wonderful, something for us to share.
I particularly appreciate a chance to meet you through your website as my little son has autism and I regard him as special, a breath of fresh air in his ways of doing things – how he sees the world. Wishing you all the very best.