Just random thoughts…
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NB: I am just thinking to myself lately about something that happened and the thoughts are stuck in my head. So just writing them here, hope no one minds. Sorry if this confuses anyone.
Thoughts out loudAt a time in my life where I should be sure
Certain of what makes me who I am…
I find myself confused and worried,
Wondering… thinking…Is this really who I am?
Are these words that make me really there?
Or is it something else? …
Something strange and foreign?These are questions that should be simple to answer…
Or at least simple to a point,
They come down to a matter of trust
Do I believe words of the trusted… or the voices of strangers?It should be an easy choice…
You would think that wouldn’t you?
But for some unknown reason…
For me it doesn’t seem to be…I don’t know what I should do right now
Who I should believe…?
Everything feels distant,
Chaotic feeling and strangeWhat makes it even more painful…
Is I have tried my best to cause no harm,
Yet even being peaceful…
Well it has appeared to be a crime…I wish I could go back,
Back to how it was before,
Before this doubt was put in me…
That I am not who I thought I was.I feel like I have done something wrong
For being nothing more than who I am
All I want to do is be me
I hope I can be again soon.
About The Author
Matty is a 36 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!
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