The Sickness

  • NB: I love you Helen and Lucia, I hope you both get fully better soon! I thought this would make you both smile.
    I Hope others enjoy it and giggle too!

    If anyone spots any mistakes let me know in the comments below so I can fix them.


    The Sickness

    It all started with a cough
    And from the nose a sniffle or two.
    As Queen Helen from Fort Goat
    Shivered rather blue,
    To all around her it was obvious
    But it was from Prince Epic Possibly a Moose
    That at last she was told so bluntly..
    A very icky truth.

    “You, my dear Queen Helen…
    I believe are very sick it seems.
    I wonder what you have…
    I hope it doesn’t pass to me”

    She thought upon this deeply,
    But finally she agreed,
    She didn’t know how,
    And she didn’t know why
    What she did know,
    Was she was sick alright…

    She stumbled with a sore head,
    That was now burning hot…
    Towards her royal bed she went,
    She flopped down on the covers
    And snuggled down to rest.

    As days slowly passed,
    Her sickness seemed to grow.
    All of Fort Goat began to worry,
    Something had to be done…
    And soon!

    So a meeting was called,
    And all of Fort Goat were present
    They chatted out ideas
    Of how to fix the sickness,
    Some said to send her up to the moon
    Other goats said to give her hay and straw
    But it was Princess Matilda Goat
    Who had the best idea of all!

    “We should send out a messenger…
    Someone to our neighbors!
    We should get the best doctors
    From the best places ever”

    Sheila Puppy Dog raised her paw
    She liked wandering around,
    This was a Job that she was made for!
    She volunteered with a bark!
    All of them nodded and agreed
    There would be an epic journey
    To stop queen Helen feeling icky!

    And so it began,
    On a morning cold
    Sheila Puppy left Fort Goat,
    On the most amazing journey of them all!
    To search for the cure
    Or a doctor or three
    Who could stop Queen Helens sickness
    And make her as she use to be!

    Sheila Puppys first stop was MattyLand of course
    Where she consulted with Matty on how to solve this problem,
    Matty with a nod, listened to the plea
    Then ordered Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear to travel with Sheila

    Sheila Puppy and Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear,
    Then headed on with their quest,
    The next stop, naturally the Kingdom of Bedroom… of course.
    Sheila Puppy being a dog had to take caution.
    For it was ruled by a Kitty
    And one who knew she was royal,

    She requested an Audience, to a rather Sinister Quacky-Eyed Duck,
    And after a long wait, Her Highness showed up,
    To the sound of trumpets
    Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First
    Spoke with poor Sheila, who was rather nervous.

    They spoke for a while
    The Princess Kitty Cat listened,
    They spoke about mice, chickens, bunnys and dinner
    Then at last they spoke about the cure,
    To help Queen Helen get better,
    And then her Highness made a decision, and said rather pleased

    “I will come,
    No one is smarter than me,
    I will solve her sickness,
    I can solve everything”

    So with her Highness, the Princess Kitty,
    And Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear, From the wonderful Land of Matty,
    Sheila Puppy then headed to the great land of Pigglylot,
    A place where one can be trapped,
    By the taste so fantastical

    For you see Pigglylot
    Was ruled by Lord Pig Pig-a-lot!
    A Pig who liked eating… more than anyone!
    His kingdom was full of an assortment of food
    From the furtherest lands,
    And the closest to!

    Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear, Princess Nom Nom and Sheila,
    arrived at the Kingdom and went straight to its castle!
    They were enticed every turn by foods so delicious,
    Her Highness the Kitty demanded a taste of everything.

    But at last after time, they made their way to the Ruler
    They were granted an audience, which started with snorting.
    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot listened, all bout the Sickness,
    He knew Queen Helen, for her goats liked eating.

    “I have just the Cure!”

    Was what was said in excitement!
    Lord Pig Pig-a-lot then handed over…
    A bar of delicious chocolate.

    “This will fix everything,
    It does magical things,
    Our supply is huge since the Hopaclypse been”

    Sheila Puppy accepted the chocolate with a nod
    “I heard this stuff taste better than ice cream” she continued on
    The three then left, for their last destination,
    Not letting Lord Pig Pig-a-lot know where they were heading ,
    For they didn’t want to cause a fight,
    As an ongoing war was being fought between the two places!

    Where they were going, had a great history of genius,
    It was the much famed Pirate University for Zebras!
    Looked after by the talented Dr Captain Lucia,
    Not a medical doctor but a scientist of brilliance!

    When they reached the ship,
    That was driving on land?
    They went on board to a rather happy “YArrghhhh”!
    Led by pirate Zebras to Dr Captain Lucia,
    Who wasn’t very Zebra like… but thats a story for another time.

    Sheila Puppy told her about the sickness of Queen Helen,
    Dr Captain Lucia Listened
    As Sheila Puppy talked
    Nodding her head she said

    “I know exactly whats wrong”

    She called her favorite Pirate Zebra…
    Who wasn’t a Zebra at all!

    It was a very hairy puppy dog…
    Whose name was Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot, The First, Second and Third!,
    She was very famous and well known, in lands far, wide and close.
    As she held a degree in licking noses, sniffing things and tennis balls.

    Muri was ordered to join the band
    Which was now a fellowship from the Kingdoms so grand!
    With Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear from the great MattyLand,
    And the Princess Kitty from the Kingdom of Bedroom!
    A bar of chocolate from Pigglylot,
    And now Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot The First, Second and Third from the Pirate University for Zebras

    The group then began their journey back.
    They borrowed a ship, that drove on land?
    When reaching Fort Goat, where Queen Helen was sick
    A red Carpet was laid out, on the insistance of a Princess kitty.

    Sheila Puppy then began to rush to Queen Helen!
    The whole group followed, it was all quite exciting.
    When they reached royal bed, Where Queen Helen was resting
    They were greeted by Princess Matilda Goat,
    Who said rather relieved.

    “Your here at last, and you brought smarts!!
    Please help her get better,
    Shes the Royal organizer of lunch!!!”

    The group peered down,
    At Queen Helen so sick,
    Sheila Puppy looked at them,
    Ok lets fix this!

    They first gave her chocolate,
    From the great land of Pigglylot
    Queen Helen ate it, but it didn’t seem to help.

    “That didn’t work”

    All said rather shocked,
    As Lord Pig Pig-a-lot had told them it would.

    “Step aside”

    Said Her Highness the Princess kitty,

    “I am Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First
    I can solve anything, I am the smartest and best there is.”

    And all watched, in anticipation…
    As the Princess Kitty stepped close
    She peered at Queen Helen,
    Looking up and down a lot,

    “The cure for her sickness is…”

    And everyone went quiet.
    Waiting and hoping…

    “Licking your tail!”

    She exclaimed. And rather proudly.
    Everyone just blinked,
    As Queen Helen had no tail to lick
    So the only cure there was,
    Just wouldn’t work.

    Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot, The First, Second and Third!,
    From the Pirate University for Zebras,
    Then stepped forward!
    Her degree and genius was showing right away
    As she poked out her long tongue huffing and panting!

    “I will fix this problem,
    I am a Pirate Zebra
    I learned all about sickness,
    While getting my degree at Pirate University!”

    All looked at the hairy puppy
    With much hope and excitement,

    “That hairy puppy will definitely cure Queen Helen”

    They whispered, as she stepped closer!
    Looking Queen Helen right in the eyes,
    She took a breath,
    Then out came her tongue
    Icky and wet, covered in slobber!
    She licked Queen Helens nose…
    Then silence…


    “Did it work?”

    Asked Princess Matilda Goat
    and they all leaned close,
    But then Queen Helen sniffled her nose,
    And all the onlookers pouted.

    Then last of all,
    Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear stepped forward,
    With a sigh he said,

    “I will try my best like the rest,
    but I will make no promises”

    He inspected Queen Helen,
    He looked her up and down,
    Feeling her head,
    He concluded it hot…
    He thought for a minute,
    As he was watched…

    “I know whats wrong”

    He said,
    After a long time in thought….

    “WHAT!!!”

    They all said in reply…
    Well all but the Princess Kitty
    She knew what was wrong,
    Queen Helen had no tail…
    She thought it was shocking.

    Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear looked at them all
    He cleared his throat
    “hur-humm” He went before beginning to talk.

    “My Dear friends,
    This is a very simple thing…
    What we are seeing is a very logical sickness,
    Look where we are,
    In the beautiful Fort Goat…
    Queen Helen has a simple case…
    Of Goatamorphia.”

    “Goat-a-what”

    Said those all watching
    Tilting there heads,
    They were rather confuzzled.

    “Goatamorphia…
    Its a terrible thing
    Its what one catches when around goats all year.
    It starts with the nose,
    It begins to sniffle.
    Then you start coughing,
    And your head starts burning.

    Next thing you grow horns,
    And your voice turns to ‘Maaaaaaa’
    You start thinking about food,
    All day and all night.

    Then at last you grow hoofs,
    And then a lot of hair,
    You start to grow a small tail,
    And feel like twirling in a circle!

    But I have some good news,
    Yes I do…
    If Queen Helen rests soundly,
    She will be cured.
    It can be contagious,
    At least if your not a goat…
    So I suggest we just be patient,
    She will get better by herself!”

    There was quite a lot of oh’s and ah’s
    As Sheila Puppy, Princess Matilda Goat,
    Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First,
    And Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot The First Second and Third
    listened to the talk, from the Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear.

    They all then quietly left the room,
    Leaving Queen Helen to rest,
    Princess Mailda Goat looked relieved,
    Queen Helen would be okay!

    They all headed to the Ship,
    Which drove on land?
    Princess Matilda Goat and Sheila Puppy,
    Said goodbye to their friends.

    And then off to the distance,
    The ship quietly went,
    A Princess Kitty could be seen in the back,
    Already sleeping…

    “What a long day said Sheila Puppy,
    With quite a yawn…
    I hope I never get Goatamorphia,
    It really sounds horrible”


    May 2nd, 2011 | Matty Angel | 3 Comments |

About The Author

Matty is a 37 year old girl who is an Autistic Poet, Writer and Artist and lives alone in Christchurch New Zealand with a kitty! Matty has given many talks on autism and about being unique in a world that's often not accepting, Matty has also engaged with artist and worked on Art projects Matty usually works on an Art project at the same time as a writing one! This means posts can be a bit delayed!

3 Responses and Counting...

  • Helen 05.02.2011

    What a great story! I’m so glad she gets better in the end. I am very grateful for all the efforts of all the different royalty and others on my behalf!

  • I am glad you get better to! BIG HUGS!!

  • I think that was wonderful…I will read it to my grandchildren for sure…absolutely wonder-full!

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